Cousins, Facebook

This little guy is a football bear that I made for my grandson.  The bear is bought but the hat and sweater are made with football buttons.  My grandson really liked this guy.  He named him "fooper."
Well, I got on Facebook awhile back.  Started using Farmville.  And that was it, I thought.  And then I started meeting cousins from my mother's side of the family....and cousins, and cousins.  And I have had the thrilling experience of seeing pictures from the past that embodied what I remember from when I was little.  It is truly amazing.  I am the oldest living cousin that I know of.  Allan Stimpson was the first cousin to be born.  He died c.1972 or 73.  Then there was me.  So I am the oldest surviving cousin and the oldest girl cousin. 
Part of all this is scary, though, because it brings back some memories I don't want.  The memories are of physical and sexual abuse.  I have been fighting with anxiety attacks and that, too, shall pass, as soon as I get a handle on them.  I just have to keep looking at the positive side.  I am grown up now and at no one's beck and call. 
I am not working on any pattern designs, unusually enough.  I saw my 3 youngest grandkids this past weekend and gave them all the objects that I had finished from my own designs.  Guess I'll have to start again.  But first must get the wherewithal.  Anyone know where I can find some wherewithal?
I love my sons.  I miss them.  I pray that they are doing extremely well.  This economy scares me.  There's too many things that wrap around and focus on money.  Bleah.
Blessings on my day and yours.