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Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Mom Whining, Depression Struck Fast, Sons

You know, sometimes I would like to have had a daughter.   I maybe would have understood her better than I "get" sons.  I accept the fact that the sons go to the daughter-in-law's family for most things, I accept the fact that sons have a life of their own to live.  What I don't accept is that some of my sons involve me in their lives and then get upset if I react.  Sigh.  #4 son asked me if he could stay here when he left his wife of almost 10 years and I told him yes if that is what he feels he has to do.  My first mistake.  His wife and he get along so well and seem to suit each other extremely well.  So.  I go on Facebook and see his wife online so I chat her up and tell her that I spoke to Kevin and that I was very sorry that things were not working out and that I felt they belonged together.  I also said that whatever they needed to do to have a good life is what they do.  I told her I loved them both.   She ended the chat abruptly.  I feel that maybe they need to go to counseling and my second mistake was talking to her at all.  Now Mistake #3 is that I am depressed about the whole thing. 
Grrrrrrr.   How come being a parent didn't come with directions...and if it did, I probably would have only skimmed it.  I need to separate myself from helping my sons in any way which is a sad comment on my relationship with them. 
I will get myself busy cutting out envelopes and making stationery, fixing a pattern for a faux kid's baseball cap, and reading. 
...and possibly I will meditate and put myself in a safe place where I can talk to my Higher Power.  That is probably best.
Sometimes I think to myself that I wish I could not talk for the rest of my life but go through life with facial expressions and that's that.   I could say is all that way and then ignore what was being said because obviously I would have no recourse.  Good thought.
Blessings on Your Day.

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