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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Next Step


The picture is of a pair of felted slippers that I made (crocheted). I think they represent well my life....sturdy, not perfect, and they help me take the next step and protect my feet.
This is THE Big Lesson that I have learned: Take the Next Step in your mind before you take it for "real" in your life. I didn't learn it until it was past saving some things in my life, however, I know it now. For example: if I had looked at my actions with my son, Shawn, I would have kept sending him to the counselor until he finally got bored and opened up; if I had looked at my actions in regards to men, marriage, relationships, I would have looked at the next step and gotten an idea of where I was going; if I had looked at my own actions in regard to the PSTD, I would have gotten help sooner...but ALL of these things came with maturity and after it was too late to change. Maybe that is part of our Higher Power's Plan? To live through things so that we can better help our grandkids? Who knows.
Rambling on enough. I haven't written in awhile because I have been busy creating--knitting, crocheting, singing, writing up a hat pattern. I also have been having a flare-up of the Fibromyaglia. It is painful both physcially and mentally. The pain is handle-able if I keep busy, but the depression and not being able to focus my brain endlessly is a problem. I catch myself staying inside and avoiding people. I know that is familiar to many others and so won't whine. Supercilious Grin here.
I miss my cousin, Dolly. She was such a good friend and such a funny girl! She had diabetes and died early in her life. Dolly, if you are 'listening,' I love you!! And I miss my cousin, Alan. He also died early in life (25 yrs old). I so wanted to communicate with him but didn't know how. Alan, I miss you and love you!! Hugs for both you and Dolly. Hey, maybe you met in Heaven and are both watching over me. (I know this is a fantasy but it would be so great!! They would have been good together.) wishful me.
I am waxing nostalgic today and I gotta quit because it is making me down. Yikes. My Bearli kitty is having to have a time-out in his house (which is sitting right here beside me). He has full run of the house, table, counters, etc etc etc, but I don't allow him behind the computer because he chews. Not good. So he is talking to me and asking me what is going on.
I will keep this short. Pat, you are in my prayers every day and in my thoughts a whole bunch. Blessings on my boys and their families. I pray for health, growth and always the ability to carry on for them all. I love my grandkids more than I thought possible!! I always wanted to be a mother and was still a foster mother when I started having grandkids and it was so difficult to make the transition but I think I've "got it." Big Smile. Love to my family and friends, love to all people (I'm working on this one big-time!) Emmalemmon47

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