Thursday, July 23, 2009

This hat is one of the first crocheted felted hats I ever made. I guessed at the pattern. It is actually done in hdc with a 8, 16, 24, 32, 40... progression, changing colors as I wanted. I used leftover LionBrand wool from other projects. The ear flaps started with a shell made of 5 dc and then just sort of progressed. I think it came out great. And it fit. That is the important part.
I have not written in awhile because I have been trying to get myself together after a few "run-ins' with Monsieur Harry. I am quickly learning that he may have Alzheimer's or even an ongoing problem with Schizophrenia and it makes a normal conversation very difficult. However, I am going to hang in until Harry's doctor's appts in August to see if I can get Harry to discuss the anger he has OR possibly I can mention a few things in the appts. I am praying that this goes as it is supposed to and that Harry will get help.
Other than that, I sold my car. Did mention that earlier? Now I am at the mercy of buses, friend Eileen, and RIDE. I will live and I actually enjoy riding on the city buses as you meet the most interesting people.
Computer is running fine, printers are doing well, and converter box on television is doing great. Now I just have to figure out how to get the driver for the HP all-in-one so I can use the scanner. I am so proud of myself. Not bad for an old lady of 62 who doesn't look a day over 61!

I have checked out my followers blog (Cheyenne) and it is a great blog!! She is quite a designer. (Cheyenne, thanks for sharing.) Today I was able to read over the Chicken Stitches, Lion Brand, Dishcloth Designers blogspots and they are so creative. I wish I had time to join many more.
Visited my stepdad's farm this past weekend. My stepdad (Raymond Cretinon of Kingston MA) died of pancreatic cancer 5 years ago but I still like to visit his family. I loved going to the farm when I was a teenager. There was room to run, lots of animals to see, and lots of garden stuff. I especially fell in love with my stepdad and my Aunt Jean Cretinon Coffin. She is a very kind and gentle soul. My stepfather (who was nicknamed "Biddy" because I guess they thought it was funny--he was a large man--not tall, but big-boned--and was the farthest thing from a Biddy ever!!) was such a hard worker. He was always doing something and taking care of some animal. I saw him once push a bull off his foot and was amazed at how confident he was in that enclosure with the bull. Yikes. Raymond loved my mother sooo much. It was nice to see that she had such a fan.
My brother Richard is in the hospital. He fell out of his wheelchair and broke his hip. He is only 55 years old and is in such bad physical shape. He didn't take care of himself at all. Richard's son, Little Ricky, called to let me know. I am going to get to see his children soon. Yayyy. I can't wait to meet them. I used to love to go see my nieces and nephews. But now they have all grown up and gone their separate ways and I only get to see them occasionally.
Yesterday I did visit my counselor. It was a very "working" session. They always are. I am trying my best to be the healthiest I can so that I can be a better person.
Anyway, I am going to get dressed and go to the library. Blessings on my sons: Timothy (who is moving to a new apartment with my beloved dil, Julie; Shawn (he needs prayers, friends, love, support, maturing); Brendan (who has a difficult time at work...the work is fine, people are not...and his family whom I love dearly!!!! and his wife, Bek, the best mom in the world); Kevin and his wife Jenn who are going thru a rough time. I wish them the best and the most blessings ever. Blessings on my friend Bonnie who is going through cancer and has been for a year now. Blessings on my friend Pat who has hung in as my friend for 59 years. Blessings on my friend Harry who doesn't seem to have ever had anyone who cared enough for him to get to really know him. Blessings for the World that is topsy-turvy. Blessings on our President and guidance to do the Right Thing. Blessings on me and let me find homes for all this love I have!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wednesday with Bearli and Regan and...Life




This is a bag that I made a few years ago. It was awkward to make. The pattern is from Carol Ventura and I love it! It has been various things in my home: a clothespin bag, a "hold the felt yarn" bag so Bearli won't eat it. The only thing I would change is I wish I had put a long strap on it so I could use it for a shoulder strap purse. But I still love it!! And the one on the right is a soft-sided felted bag that I created myself. I love the way it came out. It went to my dil for Christmas.

A few days ago, a neighbor was being extremely rough on his new puppy (black lab, I think) and I ran across the parking lot and told him to "stop, just stop." He yelled back at me for awhile and told me that the vet told them to treat the dog like that. I can't believe anyone would sanction bouncing a dog off the ground and hitting him on the head. Yikes. And a little girl was watching. Anyway, I told that person that I would report it if I saw that again. So today, someone called me to tell me that I was going to be sued, the woman has a lawyer cousin or brother, etc. I am in awe of people! All I will say if they stop me is that I said and did what I thought was right. The end, right? Wrong. Because I am obsessing about it and worrying and I don't need to. bleah me.

Today I am going to the bank to replace my lost debit card. I have never lost one before. I guess I'm due.

I have been crocheting baby hats and am now making a blanket from the bulky yarn that the Sr Ctr had in their closet. It isn't bad. I am making a hex "squre" with a bit of design in it. I am listening to old-time cowboy western music. It is different and I recognize so many of them. I even remember the words to most of them and I am not that old!!

I am feeling down and sciatica is down there with me...plus the things that are happening with Harry. He has been just horrendous and yelling and grouchy and angry. And forgetful. I think he is going into Alzheimer's and on Monday I will go to the doctor's with him and make sure that something is said about this change in Harry...or maybe it has been this way all along and no one has been close enough to him to see it. Anyway, that is another worry.

"Ghost Riders" in the skyyyyy. On that note, I will close and hope to write again soon. I have not felt like buckling myself down to write but I know there is much I should journal.

The world still has beautiful people and environment on it and life goes on...


Good Morning! It is gorgeous out and I am trying to make myself feel better. Tell me how easy

Monday, July 06, 2009

Ageless Wisdom, Perspective; Regan

This big boy over in the picture is Regan. He is a Maine Coon and was two years old here. He is now 7. I loved his tail...it looked like a peacock feather. Regan is the most patient child cat! He looks at me sometimes like he knows exactly what I am saying. His eyes are a clear Green and he is a joy in my life.
I found an article about Ageless Wisdom. At the beginning of the article is a quote by Madeline L'Engle: "The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been." I have been trying to put that exact thought into words for a long time. I have integrated myself and am now all that I have been, am now, and will be. There were 50 Reasons Why Older is Better and a few bear repeating: #47. You know from experience--yours and that of others--that a CLEAR CONSCIENCE and PEACE OF MIND far outweigh fame or fortune. #48. You are learning to put the past behind you, put the future into proper PERSPECTIVE and live each day as if it might be your last, for someday it will be.
I think that PERSPECTIVE is the one thing that I learned through my many years of life's experiences and counsleing...through flashbacks, times when I wasn't "with myself," raising children, PAIN. I don't "mind" physical pain but the people who can hurt me scare me to death...my sons, their families, my sisters and brother, my parents, grandparents, people I looked up to. What helped me through all the pain, etc., is PERSPECTIVE.
Took me YEARS to build that perspective, to realize that that is what has saved me. I have also learned to love people as they stand. Perspective has helped me with that. I had an occasion recently to look back at how much pain I caused myself, too. I realized that, because of my perspective, I can let so much go that isn't important in the long run and I am calmer and more peaceful for it.
I wish my children and their families Perspective. I wish Harry Perspective. (Our 12-week anniversary is today.) I pray that I and they can accept that life is all about ups and downs and is never what we want but what we need. Blessings on Timothy, Shawn, Brendan, Kevin, Julie, Lisadil, Tegan, Devin, Bek, Emma, Caleb, Natalie, Jennifer, Abigail. I want them all to know that I love them dearly, think of them often. And Regan and Bearli, my 2nd family. Smile.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

I used to be an interpreter for the deaf and had to quit because I couldn't afford all the certificates and licenses that you needed. I loved going to the Continuing Education Classes and meeting other people and being immersed in sign language and I miss it. I am still in contact with deaf friends but that is not enough practice to keep up the receiving end of interpreting. Rats. But I did teach sign language classes and Deaf Culture Classes for over 30 years and that was such a good thing for me. This picture of me is rather dreadful...I look done in and dragged through the mud. Did you ever have one of those faces? bodies? days?
I will watch the Bristol Parade on Harry's big screen tv today. It will be relaxing. I have brought with me felt to cut out baby slippers while I watch. I love to do these projects while I watch tv. Don't know why, but they relax me and make me feel accomplished at the same time!
Short post today because I am tired from our "day off" yesterday. We did a lot of walking and a lot of looking plus we had wonderful scallops at a tiny arcade restaurant in the Swansea Mall. And Ice Cream from Haagen Dazs (however you spell that!!) Fat City!!
Blessings and prayers for my sons and the hope that they will know a Higher Power.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

This fine girl is a doll made for my granddaughter Tegan.
She looks just like my granddaughter (except Tegan's hair is straight
and not banana curly). I had so much fun that year making up dolls
for the granddaughters. I made a Cinderella for Emma. I love creating
little "people" for little people!!
Today is Tired Day. My son Shawn has hurt my heart for a very long time. I think that anything I did in the past (although I don't know what it is because he hasn't talked to me in ages) has been overpaid and I am tired of being talked to like I was nothing. Shawn asked that I no longer email him because I shared with my whole family a prayer from Billy Graham and also pics of rare and beautiful things. He said he will never open another email from me and that if he wants to know "my" God that he will look for him. So I thought very carefully about what to say to him and left him a message on his phone (he has not returned nor answered my phone calls in years) telling that "I love you Shawn but I am very tired of having my heart hurt. I have had enough. I told him that the things I sent him were not "ABOUT" him but rather a sharing of things I thought were pretty common sensical. Your family loves you and misses you. I Love you a lot." I tried to remain unemotional and I think I did well. It is so sad that he has separated himself from his family for so long. I can't control him and won't even try. I will just continue praying for him as I have done all along and craving that he will let me know him someday. I had to write about this or I could not get any peace ever again. I love that kid, Shawn. He is 38 years old and so beautiful, talented, and funny. I know there is so much more to him than that and I think he is a lot like me. I pray that Shawn will find peace and the ability to get close to another human being and feel trusting and worthy...Shawn IS worthy. He doesn't know me, just like I don't know him. What a sad state, God. (Please, God, some help here. Help Shawn to know peace and what Your Will is for him.)
On another note, I am listening to Harry's Big Ben/Westminster Chimes clock. It is beautiful == but loud!
I have been working on downloading FOs and designs from my picture CDs. It feels good to finally getting toward being organized in my files and patterns.
I ask a Blessing on everyone and that we all will be tuned in to God's Will for each of us. I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to grow in this life and learn and love people. I have come a long way. In my own small brain, I think that growing and learning in this life is the goal...but I would never second guess Heavenly Parents. Peace to all. I pray in Jesus name, Amen.